Escape Artists

Communication is hard. Believe me, I get it. Over the course of my life, I’ve found myself in many conversations that I was hoping would end even before they started. Glancing towards the metaphorical (or literal) exit and asking myself if it was over yet.

But in order to handle things with grown-up communication, you can’t ditch out on hard conversations. You need to stick them out and be part of the solution.

The wild part is you may believe you’re willing to have hard conversations but don’t even realize you’ve actually become an escape artist.

Here are a few exit strategies that you may be doing without even knowing it:

•  Saying “I don’t know” repeatedly (without slowing down to actually think of a reasonable solution or suggestion to share).

•  Using generic yet concrete statements, “I’m just not good at things like this” or “I guess I just can’t do anything right.”

•  Being unintentionally unhelpful by putting your partner in charge of organizing all of the solutions and saying “Just let me know once you figure it out and I’ll help then.”

All variations of these exit you from the conversation.

And your relationship NEEDS both of your voices. It needs both of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions. 

Don’t exit the conversation, instead, work your way through it… together.

See the benefit of seeing it through to the other side. Or simply put… don’t be an escape artist.

I believe in you two!

Until next week,

-A

P.S. It might sound silly to call out escape artists, but this behavior does not work in your communication or your relationship.  Reach out if you need some support in working through your own communication obstacles so you can be more present and participatory in your relationship. I’m here to help.